[6]

i feel like writing alot.... hmpf. well, basically this week has been really lame. it got good, and now it sucks. i lost one of my bestfriends? pretty sweet. i feel like i'm losing more then one. cause now everyones taking sides which is rediculous, and i'm not telling anyone to do that. but understand where i'm coming from. theres, someone i love, loved. i don't even know what the feeling is anymore. ANYWAYS, he did somethings that i wasn't happy with. its not the fact that he did it, its the fact that 2 weeks before, he claims he ' loves me ' which is obviously such bullshit, and doesnt get why i'm pissed. yes, we're not going out anymore for almost a month, but then when you make it seem like you love me and shit and then go and fuck around with some girl that WAS one of my bestfriends. its just not the right thing to do. whether or not thats what you were trying to do, its still not what you do. and now its not even the point that you did that. its the point that i've seriously gotten to the point that i dont ever wanna talk to you again, because you don't seem like you give a shit. its sad, the fact you were my BEST friend, and now i cant even look at you. because youre not even trying to see why i'm mad at you, or what you did wrong. constantly asking ' why do you hate me ' isnt gonna make me wanna answer you, say something you mean, even though you KNOW what you did. and youre prolly just trying to make me even more pissed off. i dunno. i'm not gonna try and fix anything with you. i said what i had to, and i'll let you decide what happens from here. if its that important to you then you'll fix it. if its not, then now i know you dont care, you never did and you lied to me just like everyone else has. i realize alot of my friends treat me like shit. and i'm kind of getting sick of it. i don't know what i'm gonna do, but somethings gonna have to change. i got in a huge fight with my mom too. she's been asking me so many questions about everything, and i went downstairs to get ... cold pizza. rofl. and she questions me about everything, and says she wants to talk to me, and i'm all like NO i dont wanna talk to you. thats why i go to therapy. ect. ect. and i was SCREAMING, and crying, and all that fun shizzat. and my mom was like trying to hug me and i was like yelling at her to stop. and she didnt so i moved, and like ran, and she grabbed my arm, and i took my hoodie off and left my house. it was .. quite fantastic if you ask me. NOT. i made brownies. lol, and then my stepdad was like WHATS HER PROBLEM, and im like yo you are. well, not really. i wanted to say it so bad. and my dad says we have plans tomorrow night, and i'm sleeping at his house.... after i have plans. thanks for not telling me till the day before [: i appriciate it. obv not. i think i'm gonna go eat brownies. and watch nightmare before christmas, cause thats what i watch when i'm pissed off. rofl. whatever. i guess i'll write in this tomorrow or something? bye.